We’ve all seen game writing that was cumbersome to read. Every sentence began with a subordinate clause or had a stream-of-consciousness feel that lost you halfway through it. I can only imagine that these writers thought they were being artsy. Unfortunately, artsy does you no good if your audience doesn’t know what the Hell you’re saying.
Keep your language clear. Use correct grammar and punctuation. Grammar and punctuation aren’t shackles intended to limit your creativity. They’re tools that we employ to give the reader more information. The placement of a comma can change the meaning of a sentence.
Crikey! The structures of sentences, so sadly bloated! Carry on! Cut them. Make them sing for you. They’s your bitches.
In other words:
Cut bloated sentence structure and make your words sing for you. They’re your bitches.